


To hell with tomorrow I want you now

by LaurelinTengel



Series: The woosan fun [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Both are kinda sad, Crying, Cuddling, Hurt feelings, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28033644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaurelinTengel/pseuds/LaurelinTengel
Summary: San plays a game of emotional and physical withdrawal chicken with Wooyoung and neither of them win anything.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Series: The woosan fun [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053419
Kudos: 19





	To hell with tomorrow I want you now

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pre-fic for my little bday fic because i kinda had the lead up to the fight in mind and its in San's point of view so I just wrote it. This as the pining and the angst, the next one has some smut XD

‘’’

San was spacing out and looking at nothing while the conversation around him went on unperturbed. They just finished a live and San put his best face on and send his love out to atiny. Even tho it was harder today then usually. 

He stayed up last night, way too long he got barely and hour of sleep before they needed to get going. He was frustrated and the reason lately more then ever was Wooyoung. Of course it was him and his playing around and constantly making San believe they had something, but then pulling away flirting with everyone and chatting and laughing with all Woo’s many friends that were not him. 

But when ever San pulled away out of frustration or even just being close with other members Woo popped up and strictly pulled San to him, like he was his. But it wasn’t real, it felt more like he was Wooyoung’s stuffed toy that sometimes stayed in his embrace cuddled and held close all night and then the next day tossed aside to the floor, forgotten. 

Like San hadn’t made clear that he be with Woo forever. He kept saying it and it started to sound hallow to his own ears because it didn’t feel like their relationship has changed much since well the time San said he loves Wooyoung more then just a friend. 

Woo just took that in stride and said ok and continued on as if nothing had happened. But San was going insane because he didn’t get an answer. It just like his feelings were left to hang in the air and he didn’t know if he should say anything because maybe that was Wooyoung being kind and ignoring San’s feeling so they could stay as close as they are without it being a rejection and them losing something of what they have. 

Wooyoung could be very insightful when he wanted to and San knew that better then anyone. Woo always saw through him and all his masks and guards that were up for a long time, even around them. 

Trust didn’t come entirely easy to him, that’s why his closeness to Wooyoung was so imported in shaping him for the past two years. 

‘’’

Seonghwa laid a hand on his shoulder and startled him out of is deep thoughts. 

“You look tired? Hope your not getting sick?” the older said with a worried face and laid a hand on his forehead. San smiled a little and took the hand held it a little in his. Looking at Seonghwa, he should ask for his advice, he would understand. 

“I just stayed up gaming last night, I was on a row and didn’t want to stop.” he felt Woo’s stare before he saw it directed at them across the table. Wooyoung was hanging on Yeosang’s shoulder who was looking at something on his phone. 

San didn’t let got of Seonghwa’s hand, he instead stared at the older smiling and saying: “Hyung it’s so sweet of you to care. Your really adorable you know.” he put a wink at the end of that, acting cute. And Seonghwa swatted him on the leg and pulled away a little laughing at him more then anything. 

But San just kept going because why not, what was stopping him from hanging all over his hyung and making Wooyoung feel some of his own medicine. So he threw his arms around the older’s neck and got real close whispering in his ear. 

And Seonghwa just pushed him a little but didn’t really make an effort so San kept going and ran his nose along the others neck making him let out a noise that had Wooyoung looking at them like he wanted to murder someone. 

That made San feel smug, Woo cared enough about it to feel that strongly and show it so obviously. Finally when San pulled away Seonghwa looked at him with a questioning look: “Your extra needy today. You sure you ok?” 

San just nodded and kept a hold of the other hand while they got up and started leaving. The older didn’t let go. And San knew that that would bother Woo for sure. It was too much all at once and not explained by any outer factors where they needed to be this close and touchy. 

It was petty San thought as he was getting into the car and letting hyung’s hand fall. But he couldn’t help but to feel hurt, not for Wooyoung touching others but for him not giving an answer or caring enough to let San know where they stood with each other. 

So they gonna play this game, how ever childish it may be he wasn’t just gonna give in either. Maybe he wouldn’t be in his bed tonight when Wooyoung comes around to show him something funny only to fall asleep on San’s arm.

With the decision made to be petty, San committed to it how ever hard it was to stay away from Woo more and not cuddle him all the time and not have him around so much. He could do that if that means Wooyoung takes him seriously and actually admits there is something to talk about between them. 

That night he made himself scarce and the result was Woo’s head poking through a crack in the door to look by the light of the hallway how he was sleeping in Hwa’s arms. How did he manage to pull that…well he embellished a little how he couldn’t sleep and was anxious and wanted to be held so he could fall asleep and he made the saddest of eyes at Seonghwa and his soft heart just melted.

The door closed real quietly and Woo left to his own bed. San felt like that was a clear message and at the same time he felt bad for doing anything like this. He was being childish. 

‘’’

He slept bad and he woke tired and he kept to himself or away from Wooyoung the entire day til evening when the other just sat next to him on their couch and put an arm around his shoulders. Like usual, like there was nothing to talk about. 

San didn’t want that tho, his work on this petty plan to go to wast so he just shrugged the hand off and got up. Yunho asked:

“Where you going? We gonna start to watch the show right when hyung gets back from the bathroom.” San looked at him and only him and shrugged his shoulders looking blank.

“I feel tired, I don’t wanna mess with my neck by falling asleep sitting up on the couch in the first 5 minutes of this. Next time.” he just turned around and left without waiting for a response. 

He was feeling lonely and like he didn’t really know what to do and that’s when he literally ran into Yeosang. The other looked at him weird and asked:

“What’s up with you? You been weird for days now.” San just looked at him with his pouty face and said: “Nothing, just tired.” that was too obviously bullshit. And Yeosang pulled him along to go to San’s room and closed the door behind them.

“Talk!” He looked him in the eye all intensely and San thought, his not good at this emotional bullshit games and he should just fix this somehow. 

“I told Woo how I feel about him and he just said ok and didn’t answer me. So I just didn’t want to let thing continue just as they were. I been staying away from him, just trying to get him to respond or do something… I know its dumb.”

Yeosang frowned and sat down on San’s chair. He sighed and said: “ You two are both dumb. Like everyone and their mother know that your in love with each other but Wooyoung is a special kind of dumb. I always keep saying we should just leave him in a box in a park and let him be someone else’s problem.” He smiled a little at San and the other felt a little relieved to hear that the in love part wasn’t just him and in his head…he wasn’t crazy or anything. 

“So what do I do? His birthday is coming up and I had this whole thing planned and I wanted to surprise him and stuff but know I don’t know where we even are.”

“How about you let him suffer a little til his bday and then surprise him and say it again, make it clear you love him. In what ever way he wants you to. And he probably cry and fall into your arms like the dramatic bastard he is.” Yeosang laughed and San thought that he could probably be a evil villain if he ever wanted to. But it didn’t sound entirely bad either. He could do that.

“So you’ll help me? Like when I need an excuse to not hang out with him or why I’m not in my bed and stuff?” Yeosang nodded along and rubbed his hands together like a cliche villain. 

“Sure, I can do that, we can make our schedule so booked that there be no room for Wooyoung at all.” he smiled that angelic sweet smile and San shuddered. 

‘’’

Having Yeosang as an accomplish was a great benefit indeed because he was a way better liar then San and he could charm anyone if needed be. 

But San kept looking at Woo when ever he could, whether in practice or at the dorm. He kept stealing glances and worrying because while Wooyoung kept staring at who ever San was currently hanging off he didn’t say anything anymore, he didn’t try to stop him from doing so. And he seemed tired and more moody then usually. 

A thing that San also noticed was how little he ate. San knew about the diet and when it was with a plan and rational he could understand why Woo was doing it, not that he though he would need to but if he wanted to, then who was he to judge. 

But the diet ended over a week ago and Woo should have been happy and eating his favorite food. Instead San saw him skip lunch and say no to dinner multiple times. Saying obvious lies like he already ate. 

The worry kept building and they hadn’t talked much out of the necessity of work and co-existent’s. And San felt like he was abandoning him and for what because he got his feelings hurt, because of a surprise or a prank?

He didn’t know anymore if it was worth it. 

‘’’

It all came to ahead the day before Woo’s birthday. There had been this tension and unspoken frustration between them, were they both kept pretending like this was all normal and they just were doing their usual things. 

The problem was that San had seen how Woo had just not ate lunch and now was just taking a few bites of dinner claiming to be way too full from his late lunch that San knew he didn’t have. Woo looked more sad and worn then normally. It bothered San to no end, he just wanted to run up to him and hold him and take care of him. It was like a physical need, to just take care of that boy he loved so much. 

All of this play of emotional chicken, seemed somehow irrelevant comparison to that need. So before Wooyoung could run off this time he grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him back saying:

“You should finish your food. You haven really eaten enough today. Sit back down.” San said it without really looking at him and pulling him slightly then letting go and turning back to his own food, like he told the other to pass the water or something. 

Woo just stared at him and then really quietly said: “Why the fuck would you care what I eat? What I do or where I am? You haven’t for a while now.” That stung San, the quietness of it, the sad tone. 

San took a deep breath and said calmly: “Of course I care. I just been busy lately. You have times were you are busy with your other friends and your own stuff too. You should eat more. You have done enough now you should sit down and have some food and actually take care of yourself.”

He managed to say that perfectly calmly and looked just off to the wall behind Wooyoung while doing so. Woo did notice that and it seemed somehow like it was the last drop in his ocean of emotional turmoil.

His eyes were watering and he looked directly at San saying: “Who are you to tell me what to do huh?! Why should I listen to someone who just ignores me when ever possible. You so selfish and I’m done with you. With all of this. I fucking hate you so much San.”

He yelled the last part, the tears did fall and while San got up to go to him, Woo had just turned to run out off and out of the door. Entirely too upset to actually take anything with him. 

San stood by the door that was left open and just kinda felt terrible for doing this for too long and making the other so upset. He didn’t really realize to what extent it affected him. 

‘’’

As Yeosang was getting back from the shop and opening the door downstairs Woo ran right at him looking upset.

He kind grabbed Yeosang and dragged him out with him. Which the other boy just accepted. Then they stood still for a bit and Woo just was breathing heavily and said: “Why is San so much of a dick to me? Like what is it with him that he just from one day to the next is acting like a completely different person. I don’t fucking get him. Haven’t you noticed how different his been?”

Yeosang looked at Woo perplexed and said: “Woo I think you may be in your own head because San has been just fine with all of us. He is busy and you don’t really have like a monopoly on all his time all the time. Aren’t you being a little childish and overreacting?” 

As the words were spoken Wooyoung looked at Yeosang and just nodded and said: “Ok then, I try to be less of a burden to any of you.” and he just walked off fast before Yeosang could speak another word. 

‘’’

San stood at the door regretting ever trying to make the other do or say or answer anything because he didn’t believe he would blow up this big. He thought that Woo would be whinny and throw himself at him and be angry but him being sad and genuinely upset with him….Well that wasn’t the plan. 

Fuck the plan, he needed to go and fix this so that they could be how they were before. No matter what he feels, the most important part is that he gets to keep Wooyoung. 

San got his jacket and an umbrella and went out the door seeing Yeosang arriving and just blowing past him saying he had to run, not hearing what the other had to say to him.

San thought hard about the places Woo would hide in when he has been upset before and he decided to run to them one by one. Just as he arrived at the first did he realize he forgot his phone on the kitchen table. Fuck. He couldn’t even spam him with text and calls.

He sighed and went to the next place. He thought about everything he had already prepared and that he had thought tonight they would finally be talking about stuff and all of this be behind them. Now he wasn’t gonna tell him anything, he felt like all he would swear to Woo would be undying friendship and he be ok with that as long as the other stays in his life. Cuddles him at night and keeps hugging him twenty times a day, he be happy.

It started raining when he was walking to the house where their old dorm was. That was the fifth place now. He was tired of running so he walked. He felt like he been walking forever. 

And when the patter of the rain got really strong he looked to his right and there under a small roof looking entirely like a crying abandoned puppy was Wooyoung. His eyes red and hair wet and face down cast, probably to hide the tears. 

San felt all sort of ways in that moment and he really wanted to grab a hold of Woo and just kiss him silly and hug him til the other believes him how much he actually loves him. 

And what he did was really the opposite. 

‘’’


End file.
